Week 29 - New Record for Worst Month!

I guess the title says it all.

Weigh-in:  +.5lb
Avg. Burn:  2374

Average W/L for December:  .5lb total for month!

Honestly, I should be happy that the gain is only .5lb.  The burn is not too shabby either since I took off Christmas day (planned - still managed to burn over 2k) and the 27th (unplanned - just could not get myself out of bed). 

I have been eating and drinking non-stop.  New Years Day is on Tuesday, and I actually cannot wait to be done with all the holiday parties, gathering, and mostly FOOD.  I have more than indulged myself, and I will be fine with returning to a normal, healthy consumption.

I am sorry that I have done such damage to my goal.  I am currently 5.5 pounds behind where I should be - a whole month's progress - that I need to catch up on some how.  I have started thinking about weight loss pills or something like that to help speed up my metabolism.  Only I'm probably too cheap to actually buy them.  I have started running 3 of the 4 miles that I do on my "long" days (did I mention that I got new running shoes for Christmas?), and I am consistently doing HIIT on my "short" days.  My weights/isometric plans have not fared as well.  Because I do it after my aerobics, it often got short shrift to an already over packed schedule.  This is another thing that should be better in the new year.  Although my classes start on the 7th, my social agenda should be a lot more quiet.  All I have to do is manage to get out of bed at 5:04 AM, and there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to keep up with the schedule more consistently.

I also have to get back to journalling again - totally skipped it this week, it's just too difficult.  But, I'm sure I was at the 2300 calorie mark.

Ok, I'm gonna sign off for now.  I hope to have a better report next week!

Week 28 - No Christmas Miracle

Ok, may as well get right to the stats:

Weigh in:  +1.5lb
Avg. Burn:  2474
Avg. Cal consumed:  1369

This week was tough, definitely the beginning of the holiday eating.  If I am honest with myself, there is probably another 200 calories consumed on average, so at least 1569.  However, that still gives me a 1105 deficit, so once again, I'm baffled that I GAINED.  I can see staying the same - just the deviation from my usual menu could cause my system to retain fluid, etc., but gaining is just discouraging.

I am doing well, however, with my goal to get to Christmas with continuous exercise.  My burn rate is one of the best I've had in weeks - actually, since October, so I am psyched about that.

This next week will be even more challenging, starting today, there is almost daily celebrations, and the food that is around for munching - cookies, candy, crackers, cheese, yummy left overs - it's all too accessible.  I'm going to try to be good, but also try not to stress over it too much.  I'll focus on keeping up with my exercise and I still have a million things to get done, so hopefully I'll be too busy to eat too much!

Week 27 - the Whoosh Fairy taketh away, and the Whoosh Fairy giveth :-(

I guess I can't really call it a "whoosh", but I gained back 1lb this week:

Stats:  +1lb
Ave Burn:  2402

I don't know my average calorie intake because I have not be tracking :-(  Honestly, I am just treading water here - which is kind of what I realized would happen during the holidays.  So, now I'm behind my goal again, but only by .5.  I am going to really try to get back to tracking my calories.  Although I don't believe that I ate 2400 calories a day PLUS 3500 more to gain a pound, I'm sure that my eating and drinking has played a part in my lack of progress.  It's the holidays!

On Wednesday morning, I completely blew through my alarm and missed working out.  I mean, I don't even remember my alarm going off, so you know I was in deep REM sleep.  This was not good because I had plans for lunch, and that meant there would be no opportunity to make up my workout for the day.  I guess, considering that, I did ok with a 2401 burn average, but I just cannot afford those types of slip ups.  I think what happened was that I was up pretty late getting stuff done and ready for the next day, and I just hit the wrong button when the alarm went off - not even really waking up for it.  I try to take these experiences as a sign - my body must have really needed that sleep!

This coming week will be another whirlwind of activity leading up to the holiday and my SIL and niece coming to stay with us.  In addition, there will be mass baking and cooking.  This is what makes it extra challenging to track my food.  One bite of chicken tiki masala, one chicken salad finger sandwich, a sliver of lasagna, a half a glass of punch, and one bite sized chocolate dessert thing.  Oh, and a palm full of M&Ms.  It's all so hard and time consuming to track.  Part of me just wants to put "1000 calories of misc junk".  What I describe is exactly what is coming up on Thursday - our work pot luck and Yankee swap.  But, there will be several more occasions where the sampling will be similar.  I should really try to figure out a strategy for dealing with it without over-doing it.

For one thing, I have a goal to work out every day until Christmas, but take Christmas off (because the kids get up so early, it would be difficult to work out that morning anyway, so I may as well give in to it).  Then, it will be right back to it the next day.  At least this will keep up my burn rate so that I don't gain 5lbs in the next week, maybe only 2 or 3.

Week 26 - Week from H*ll

Well, maybe stress is good for weight loss:

Stats:  -3.5lbs
Average burn:  2382
Average calories:  unknown

Well, what a week.  I started out with a crazy Saturday with my kids - ran the girls to karate, then we went to a church fair, then ran home to get some stuff done before our friends came over.  Sunday was a little less crazy, but Chuck was still sick with a cold, so dealing with that.  My brother's birthday celebration out at a restaurant (very yummy, but I ate too much garlic bread!) 

Monday was crazy - I had a meeting with my boss where she told me that I was being removed as program manager on the program I have been working on for a year.  I was taken aback, but the way she presented it - the decision made, and why she had decided to do it, which was nothing to do with me except for my location??  I played along, but then decided I wasn't going to pretend there wasn't an elephant in the room.  It's ugly, but there's nothing I can do about it.  It made me sick to my stomach, though - or maybe I still have a touch of the stomach flu.

I had to leave early to bring Russell to the dentist for his gum surgery, then we went grocery shopping.  After dinner, I had to start working on my final project for class.  It's not that difficult, but very time consuming.  I tried to get some laundry done while I was working on it, but of course nothing got folded. On Tuesday, I was still dealing with the work decision - I was on the fence about going to my work's holiday party, but I decided to, and I'm glad I went.  Wednesday night I rushed home and took the girls to karate, then home, made dinner, and worked on my homework a little more.  Thursday night we had to go right from work to Tess's school for quality night.  Then home, make dinner, and final work on project.  Then, on Friday we went to get our Christmas tree, and after we went to La Hacienda for our tradition.

I have not been able to keep up with journaling my food, nor have I been able to work my isometric/weights into my workouts this week.  I have barely had time to do my cardio.  I am glad that the woosh fairy visited me (oh, did I mention that I had my period too!), I hope the results stick around.  There is something wrong with my ticker - it should say 26.5lbs, which puts me just .5 ahead this week.  I don't care, I'll take it!

Week 25 - half way there!!!

Well, I am half way through the time to my goal, even if I am not half way to my goal.  :-(

Stats: -1lb
Average burn:  2278
Average calories: 1325

I got a stomach bug this week, and I ended up not eating for 48+ hours.  I also did not work out on Wednesday and Thursday.  I purposely took Wednesday off, but I did not mean to take Thursday off, but somehow did not get up when my alarm went off.  I really was not happy to have illness derail my week, especially since I was taking Friday off for our annual shopping trip.  I guess I did pretty good, considering, with an average daily burn of 2382, considering I took off 2 days.

The weight loss is disappointing.  I am now a full 2lbs behind my goal.  I thought that the stomach flu would give me a much needed boost to my weight loss, but I guess not.  I need the whoosh fairy to come and give me a big loss. 

I probably should be more excited to be half way through to my goal, but it's anticlimactic because of being behind in my weight loss and because I know that, even after I get to my goal, that I am not done.  It won't be like crossing a finish line or passing in a final assignment and saying, "ok, that's over!".  I know I have a lifetime of keeping up with healthy eating and exercise.  Still, for now I have a goal, and I will reach that goal no matter what.

My brother gave me new music at Thanksgiving, and I've been enjoying listening to some new tunes during my work outs.  He does a spectacular job putting together motivating music that's at the correct tempo.

Chuck and I went on our annual shopping day trip - this is supposed to jump start our Christmas shopping.  It was ok, but I cannot believe the holidays are already here.  I am not ready!  I think having so much going on, especially school, makes it hard to concentrate on the holidays.  I hope I can keep up with diet and exercise during the season.  It sure is challenging.

Week 24 - Sigh

Stats:  +1lb
Average burn:  2397 (so close to goal of 2400!)
Average calories:  1248

This is a week that I (we) take time to be grateful.  Everyday, I try to think about how fortunate I am and give thanks, but during Thanksgiving, I think about it in a bigger way - not only about my family, friends, health, but also about having a manager who doesn't drive me crazy, or the fact that I have my wonderful mother living with me, or for something that I take for granted - like trash pick up!  In any case, gratitude is in my heart, and it's important to put all things in perspective.

That's why I tried not to be too discouraged by the scale on Friday.  It was the day after Thanksgiving for goodness sake, and I wasn't exactly an angel.  I had all my favorites, plus seconds, and apple pie.  I skipped dinner, but I did have another piece of pie at 10 PM!  I tried to account for it on my food tracker, but I'm sure my total was underestimated - I came out at ~1750 calories, and that seems remarkable, don't they say the average meal is 2000?  But, I have a couple of things that are going for me, and that is that I don't use gravy, and I have some great vegetable sides that are part of my meal.  Anyway, even if I had consumed less calories, I bet I still would have been up a pound because of all the salt.  At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

This week I had two realizations.  The first one is that you can lose 10% of your body weight, and you can feel good about yourself, and you can be happy that you fit into your clothes again, but you still look fat!  It's like when I watch The Biggest Loser.  The contestant has lost like 150 pounds, but he/she still looks fat.  His BMI is probably still obese (at least mine is now merely "overweight").  It's crazy - but the fact is that it's something that messes with your head.  You want to celebrate what you've done, but you realize that you've only made a dent.

The other realization that I had is that I'm going to be at this for more than a year.  I have been focused on this goal so much, and not in the "Ah, I've crossed the finish line, time for a buffet and a nap", type of focus.  I know that I will have to - no, I want to - keep up with my "healthy lifestyle", I've even added it to my workout sheet.  I think what I realized is that my body needs a lot more work than just losing the weight.  I'd like to think I could just be 135-140 pounds and look great, but I think I've abused my body for too long to expect that.  Also, I need to get strong in order to stay strong.  And I want to stay strong for my children, future grandchildren, and, of course, for myself.  I guess part of me was thinking that I could meet this goal then sail into maintenance mode for the rest of my life, but I don't think so.  Maybe it's good that I realized it now instead of waiting until almost the end.

Next week:  Annual trip to Boston, the start of the holiday season, and amping up the activity.

Week 23 - Backlash

Well, it's not exactly backlash, but it sorta makes sense . . . well, let's explain with stats.

Stats:  0 lbs lost
Ave calories burned:  2351
Ave calorie consumed:  1151

So, I figure I'm paying for the big loss two weeks ago.  In addition, the not-so-good eating week I had last week.  But, the numbers are still good - it's baffling, sometimes, how my body works.  I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does.  It's difficult to be working so hard and see an average deficit of 1200 calories, and not even lose 1 pound.  Even if you put in a 5% margin of error - to the negative on both numbers, so the average burn would be 2233, and the average calories consumed would be 1207, that's still a 1k a day deficit - or 2 pounds a week.  Sigh.

One thing I decided was to end my sobriety a week early.  It hasn't given me the extra boost I was hoping for, and Chuck and I were going out for our monthly date night, and I just wanted to have a drink.  I will try to keep it all to a minimum as I was before, and I'll see if it makes any negative impact - there is the theory that I could have done even worse if I had been drinking, but if that's the case, I can always stop again.

My calorie burn dipped a little this week, and that is concerning. I'd like to continue to keep it up over 2400 average, but I did cut back on the aerobic exercise so I could fit in isometric/weight workouts more regularly, and it doesn't seem as if that registers the way the walking does.  My goal this week is to understand my treadmill's programs so that I can use them on my 45 minute days to increase calorie burn :-)

I started to use a new tracker program this week - myfitnesspal - it syncs with my Bodymedia Activity Manager, so I don't have to log in both places.  It's supposed to be easier to log and have more entries.  It has a mobile ap, so if I can use that more often with more success than the activity manager, then it may be worth it.  So far, it's ok - I don't like the fact that you cannot see the calories of the food you are choosing, so you have no idea what it's going to be.  I chose a generic salad - just the veggies according to the description, and it came out to be 400 calories!  I don't think so . . .

Well, next week is Thanksgiving.  I will be weighing in on the day after the big feast.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm just going to keep up with my fitness goals and try to be extra good from now until Thursday.  I do love TG, and while I won't go hog wild, I will not skip my favorites - especially apple pie - because I'm on this journey.  I think it's important to understand how to fit these events into our lives without them being big set backs.  Weather permitting, we will go for a walk after dinner, and I will have worked out that morning, so maybe burn some of the calories I will consume.

Week 22 - The Election!

I have no epitaph that relates to my weight loss journey.  The big news for this week was/is the election of President Barak Obama to a second term.  I am very happy.  I know he is the best man for the job.

Now, to the stats.

Stats:  -1lb
Avg calories expended:  2428
Avg calories consumed: 1229

Positives:

• Achieved my other weekly goals:
• Logged all my meals
• No alcohol
• New exercise schedule
• Finally went down a size. 

In general, it was a good week.  I'm happy to have lost another pound vs. gaining or staying the same, but I still would have liked to have lost more, even .5, just to get ahead of the goal.  But, when I think about the week I had, I should be grateful.  I stayed within the numbers, but I ended up eating a lot of junk food.  It started last Saturday with a pizza party - my favorite all time pizza from Tony & Ann's - birthday party for my brother and sister.  I made Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Peanut butter frosting.  The batter and frosting sampling was out of control.  And, of course, I had to try one!  That should have been enough, but oh no.  We had left over pizza, and I couldn't resist. I really need to do something about my will power or lack of it.  I spent the rest of the week trying to get back on track, and I guess I balanced things out, but I think I started a sugar craving, because I broke down and had a coffee roll from Dunkin' Donuts on Thursday.  Honestly, the calories are the same as when I get my multigrain bagel, but of course there is all that sugar and fat :-(

I was able to get into some pants that are a size smaller than I was wearing.  It has taken 22 weeks!  But, that is because I was probably squeezing into a size that should have been at least one larger.  I think going down to the next lower size will not take as long.  Maybe half the time?  10 weeks - I'm going to hope that 10 weeks = 10 lbs, and that will translate into a smaller size.  For now, I've been able to go into my own closet and find clothes that are a lower size from when I was smaller.  I don't want to have to buy anything until I'm my final size.

I started my new exercise routine.  I currently have 3 days where I only walk for 45 minutes, then I spend 15-20 minutes on isometric exercises, preferably with weights.  I was concerned that I would drop significantly in calorie expenditure.  My monitor definitely does not register my isometric exercises as physical activity, which is crazy, because I'm certainly more active, but whatever.

I think I am going to take Monday off from exercise completely.  I know I will sleep in - the kids don't have school, and I'm working from home, so it's a good opportunity to ignore the alarm.  It's supposed to be a nice day, though, so I'd like to go out for a walk.  It will be the first day in 12 that I haven't worked out.  But, I'm thinking it may be good to take a complete day off every couple of weeks.

Week 21 - 10%

Stats:  4lb loss
Average calorie output:  2457
Total Weight Loss:  22lb

Positives:

• Made my 10% goal finally
• Turn back the clocks tonight!!!  I cannot wait to get my hour back.
• Average of 2457!! And that is with taking a full and complete day off from working out.

Ok, and now here is for the venting of everything else.  Of course I was still a little disappointed that my 5.5 loss didn't stick around, but I'm trying to look on the bright side that maybe I won't gain back any of this 4, where as if I had weighed in at 5.5, I surely would have had a gain back of 1.5 or more by next Friday.  Still - only being 1lb ahead of my weekly goal doesn't exactly make me breath a sigh of relief.

So, changes for this week - I am really going to try to go back to logging my food.  I have to admit that I know my food intake was not good this week.  We had the hurricane Sandy on Monday, and I worked from home on Monday and Tuesday, and it is just harder to be good when I am at home.  Also, Wednesday was Halloween, and I make our traditional Halloween sugar cookies with butter cream frosting - I must have licked and tasted 1/2 cup of frosting, not to mention that I ate 3 cookies!  On Halloween, I had 3 fun size candy bars.  In all, it could have been a lot worse, but I wonder if I had put those into my food tracker if I would have continued to be so bad!  So, I will go back to tracking and see if I can't make more of a dent into my progress.

Today I knew I was having my family over for pizza for a birthday celebration, so I was extra careful all through the day.  I made chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting for the dessert, and I really wanted to try one, so I did.  I just logged my day, and it's coming out as 1374, so not too bad if that is 100% accurate, which it probably is not - maybe 1500?  Which isn't horrible.

The other think I am going to start is to incorporate more weight work into my work outs.  This will be hard only because of giving up my current calorie burn.  I feel like I just finally started making good progress on getting above 2200 a day, and now I will be cutting back - I know that the weight work does burn calories (even though the monitor doesn't seem to show it), and overall, if I boost my muscle, I will be burning more all over, but it will still be hard to see the number come down.

I found my last weigh-loss spreadsheet on my computer.  I don't remember it well, but it looks like the last time I had seriously tried to lose weight was in 2010.  I started in January, and I started at at least 5 pounds heavier than I was when I started my current effort.  I have entries for 21 weeks - exactly where I am at in my current journey, and I had lost a total of 23 pounds!  One pound more than I have so far.  It's sort of depressing to see that.  I don't remember what happened - why did I start slacking off at that point?  I have one more entry in my calorie count at the beginning of June, but there isn't another one until November, and by then I've gained back 6 pounds.  Why did I quit?  I do remember that Chuck and I went to Montreal with Dawna and George that Memorial Day weekend.  I have pictures of us, and it is so not pretty.  I look horrible.  Yes, 5 pounds heavier than I am now at the same point, and 5# is a lot, but it's not that much of a difference.  I guess it's humbled me.  Here I am thinking and feeling like I look GREAT now that I've lost 22lb, but I can see that I still look like a shlub (is that a word?).  I feel like I'm working harder at this than I have the last 3 times (I found a 2011 log - only 3 entries long, and then there was 2010, and before that I have 2008, which was fairly successful - made it to about the exact same spot - down 22lb), I know I never have worked out for 7 days a week or at least 7x a week, I always espoused a day of rest.  

Well, this is getting very long.  I should sign off and go to bed so I can enjoy my extra hour of sleep and get up and do my first workout of my new regime.  I will persevere.  I will not let the 22/23 pound curse get to me again!  I will continue no matter what and get to my goal, and this blog is here to remind me.

Sneak Peek!

Ok, I never do a mid-week post, but I just had to document this somehow.  When I got on the scale this morning, I was down 5.5lbs!  I know, I know - it's not official until I step on the scale tomorrow, and I quite possibly could be 2# heavier tomorrow (who knows why?), which would just put me exactly where I belong.  However, it was just thrilling to see that number on the scale, and I've been trying to be extra good all day so that I can't blame myself tomorrow if most of the loss vanishes.

It gives me hope, though, that at least I'll be down the 3# that I need to be.  And maybe the not drinking is working.  I do sort of have a pattern of a big loss following the week that I have my period, so maybe that is all this is.  And, unfortunately, I also have a pattern of gaining back half or more of that big loss :-(  But, I'll try not to pay interest on money I haven't borrowed, and I'll just be happy that it appears that I'm making progress!!!

Week 20 - The Worst Month Ever

Well, not exactly ever, but it's the worst month since my very first month, and that wasn't even a full month.

Stats:  -.5
Ave cal expenditure: 2311

Ok, before I launch into all the negativity, I'm going to focus on the positive:

• this week three people asked me if I have lost weight
• fat % showed as 34% at weigh-in
• three weeks of not drinking alcohol
• worked out 7 out of 7 days.

So, all that's good.  I'm happy that I didn't gain, but I am really bummed that 1)  I still didn't make my 10% goal (2 weeks off now), 2) I didn't lose more weight.  Total weight loss for October (this is the last WI of the month - 4 total) is 1.5lb  this ties for the lowest monthly loss since the first month. I have lost 5# a month the other months.  Now this.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about realizing that this weight number is one I've gotten stuck on in the past. Despite this self awareness, I was really not prepared for this lack of progress.  I feel like, based on the work I am doing, I really should not be having a problem losing 1 pound a week - even if it's an average.  My current average is .9.  In order to be back on track for next week, I will have to lose 3 pounds.  Definitely possible - I've had 3# weeks before.  Of course, that's just to catch up.  By now, I was hoping to be ahead of the game a couple pounds.  That's why I quit drinking.  I figure, if I don't see any significant progress by next Friday, I will go off the wagon.  What's the point if it's not going to help in the results.  I'm sure that I have cut calories by not drinking - it factors into decisions that I've made to go out to eat or not, it's kept me from snacking when I had a few glasses of wine in me.  But, OTOH, maybe I'm compensating by consuming more calories anyway to make up for what I usually consume in alcohol.  I haven't been tracking my food.  I just have not had the time.  I can't do it at work because the tool doesn't work on my work laptop.  I don't like to do it on the phone because it takes longer, and when I'm at home, my evenings are already full of cooking, cleaning, homework (mine), and much needed sleep!

Also, I have been sticking to a pretty specific diet, meals that I have entered over and over again, so I know that I'm averaging no more than 1400 calories.  It's leaving me a deficit of ~900 calories a day!  But, if I have another bad/slow progress week, I'll have to make a super-human effort to go back to food tracking.  Maybe I'm severely underestimating my intake.

Week 19 - Desperate Times

Stats:  +.5
Average calories out:  2490

Well, this week's post was supposed to be titled, "Yahoo!  10%!", but it was not to be.  I was there on Thursday, I was under it this morning, but I on Friday morning, somehow I knew I wasn't going to make it.  Have you ever just felt heavy?  That's how I felt when I got on the scale.  Despite the foreboding, I weighed myself three times because I just couldn't believe it.  How could I have gained a pound and a half since the day before?  Sometimes the scale is just a big head game.

So, the desperate times call for desperate measures, and the one I have chosen is to stop drinking alcohol until Thanksgiving.  My last drink was on 10/5, so I have had two weigh-ins since I stopped, one good, and one not so good.  I will have to evaluate if it's really worth it to not drink.  My hope is that I could really make a dent in my weight-loss goals (be ahead a few pounds - I'd be happy with 2# at this point) before the holidays.

I sometimes think that it's a very good thing that I set my expectations so low.  I know that sounds horrible, but realistically, with the amount of daily deficit I am creating, I should be losing 2# a week, and that's what I've had as a goal in the past, but when I would not lose that, and even gain, I would get so discouraged that I would quit.  Having the 1# goal has meant that (until now), I have been able to even out the big losses and the gains to have an average (ok, so that average has been under 1# more weeks than it has been at or above!) at or near 1#.  To be behind again - and especially not make my 10% goal, is discouraging.  I am putting a lot of work into this.  I am tired all the time because I'm getting up at 5 AM to work out.  I'm working out every day, sometimes twice a day.  I am sacrificing - not just alcohol, but sweets, food, etc.  If I can't show at least 1# a week average loss, then I think there is something seriously wrong with me and my metabolism.

Week 18 - Small Victories

Stats:  Lost 4.5lbs this week.

Don't ask me to figure it out.  I have no idea.  I was thrilled to be back on track with my goal of 1# a week, but my body just confounds me.  I am thrown off balance - I don't know what is working and what is not since there is such a see-saw ride on the scale.

Last week's post was so short because I was short on time, but after the big gain, I tried to focus on other areas of victory.  I mean, my clothes are definitely fitting better.  When I see my silhouette reflected in glass or the mirror, I don't cringe like I used to.  I know that I have a long way to go, but it is nice to be able to see the results of all hard work.

I also have seen some progress in my fat %.  It has read as low as 35% sometimes, with 37% being the highest I usually see.  This is a good trend, once I get my fat % less than 35, I should be able to burn more calories (or at least as much) at a lower weight.

When I was trying to make sense of my weight gain, I remembered that the last time I tried to lose weight, I was around this same weight, and it was really stubborn.  I ended up getting frustrated because I was up one week and down the next, with very little net progress.   I think I'm in for that again - it's going to be a stubborn set point, but if I can get past it, I should be ok.

I just wish I was a few pounds ahead of my goal instead of being right on.  It gives me no wiggle room, so I figure that I just have to cut back even more, be more careful about what I am eating, and stop drinking.  I decided I am going to quit drinking until Thanksgiving.  At first, I thought it should be a piece of cake - I don't have any major outings planned between now and then, but even last night (Friday night), I was really wanting a glass of wine or even to go out for a drink.  It's going to be more difficult than I thought.  But, I do believe it will make a dent - and maybe get me past this stubborn set point and beyond.  It will be the beginning of the holiday season, so it would be good to be ahead before all that eating and drinking starts.

Week 17 - Time to get serious

Stats:  Gained 3lb!

That says it all, right?

I don't have much time, so this is going to be a quick post.  I really don't know what is going on.  I had a good week with some of the highest average calorie output that I have had.  What it makes me realize is that I need to try even harder/more.

Week 16 - Back on Track?

Stats:  2.5 weight loss
16.5 total weight loss
2348 average calories burned

This week was spent trying to get clean again.  Not that I was so far off track, but I was trying to focus on getting back to my good habits.  I did my morning walking workout every day (including the aforementioned birthday party morning).  I also did "30 Day Shred" on Monday and Wednesday.  My plan was to try to get it in 3x a week, but Friday came, and I was just beat.  I was really sore from the workout, though, and Tess joined me, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep it up.

Eating was "eh".  We had a lot of leftovers from the party, so early in the week we were finishing up those - burgers, dogs, salads, etc.  I tried to be good during the day, and not so bad at night.  I guess something worked seeing as I lost the 2.5 pounds, but it only puts me .5lb ahead, and I would rather be a couple pounds ahead.

I had a humbling experience early in the week.  I was feeling pretty good - my pants have definitely been fitting better, so I decided to try on a pair I had bought without trying on - still had tags on them - and I figured I must fit in them now.  They did fit - button, etc., but they didn't look good at all, you know that look?  You're not busting out of them, but they are not flattering at all!  I guess I have another month or so before I'll be able to wear them.

My book club gathering was canceled at the last minute, but I was relieved, because as much as my plan was to have one drink and NO food, I know my resolve is not very good.  So, if you can't take the temptation, remove the temptation, right?  So, at least I made it through the week without drinking any alcohol.  That will change tonight - we are going to a progressive dinner where we walk from restaurant to restaurant, but I'm sure it won't be enough calories to offset the delicious meal and drink that comes with it.  At least I got my work out in this morning - even though it was raining.  I did my treadmill, and that felt good because I haven't been on it in a long time, and it was good to shake the dust off of it.

This weeks goals are to continue on my "back on track".  For one thing, I still have not been good about logging my meals, and I know I need to get back to that.  I have another social night planned, and I'm sure that this one will not be canceled, even if only one or two people show up, so I will plan on showing up.  That's two nights of drinking, but I'll try to be good!  It's the food that's the killer, when I drink I have no willpower.

Week 15 - Too Busy

Stats:  gained 1.5lbs

If you are keeping track, that's a total of 14lbs but it's week 15, so I'm once again behind on my goal.

Honestly, I'm almost too tired to care.

This week was a killer.  Both girls birthdays were this week - one on Tuesday and the other on Thursday.  Chuck and I went out on Sunday to buy birthday presents, and then we went out for sushi for our "date night".  I had spent most of Saturday and Sunday doing laundry and cleaning.  I have a family cook out every year not only for the girls birthdays, but mostly for my mom's birthday, which is tomorrow.  This year, my SIL was coming from NJ to visit, so I also needed to get Gwen's bedroom ready for Ruth to sleep in. 

I had something to do every night this week.  We went out on Wednesday night for both girls combined birthday celebrations.  I worked out in the morning every morning except Wednesday when it was raining.  I had planned to get up and use the treadmill inside, but I was so tired from staying up the night before getting stuff done that I decided to sleep in.  It felt weird to not do anything for the whole day.  So far, when I've missed a morning, I have been able to at least walk at lunch, but on this day I had lunch plans (sushi again!), and so I took my first full day off from exercising since I cannot remember when.  It was also the first week in a while where I only did 6 workouts, I usually make it up to 7 or more with walking at work.

We walked at 5 AM several of the days, and it was cold and dark.  It kept getting colder - starting at 55 and going down to 45.  We have decided to make next week our last outside week as it's just too cold and dark.  I am afraid one of us is going to trip on something we cannot see on the ground and hurt ourselves.  I hope that this one more week will get my body used to getting up at 5 AM so I can continue on my own.

So, needless to say that the eating was not good - with the going out, I really tried to be good, but of course I'm sure I consumed more than I should have.  Also, I have to confess, I did not log one meal all week.  With planning for the party, etc., and school, and working out, etc., I just did not have the time or the energy.  Part of me says I have to figure out a way to keep up with it, and another part of me says that I need to be able to do this without writing down every morsel I put in my mouth.

As for the weigh-in, I'm sure it didn't help that I got my period.  Maybe some of the 1.5 is water weight :-)

This week will be for getting back on track.  I am going to try to increase my physical activity, and I am definitely going to try to get my eating under control.  I only have one outing planned - my book club night on Wednesday, and I will tell them that I have to be good, so no macaroni and cheese pizza for me!

Week 14 - A Good Week

This week was a good week.

Stats:  -3.5 lost

Average calories out:  2296
Average calories in:  1147
Average deficit:  1149

Now, that's the kind of loss I would expect for those stats.  I have to say, though, that I wasn't so great with my other goals.  I did log all my meals, but I would skip several days, then played catch up.  That is not good because you know that your memory fails you, and you must be missing some stuff.  But, it can't be helped.  I was thinking about why I've been having difficulty lately, and it's easy to see why:  School.  Getting the kids back to school, I have less time and less energy at home.  In addition to that, I started my school this week, so any extra computer time that I have has to be used for school.  Also, work has been crazy.  My logging website doesn't work consistently at work, so I often can't get on even if I had the time, but I haven't had the time.  Sometimes I'll use the phone ap, but I end up having to add so much of the food I eat because the database doesn't have it or have something like it, that the phone gets really tedious.  So, there are my excuses.  I can't let them get the better of me.  I know that I can do ok without logging, but I know I need it to keep myself honest.  Besides, I'm a numbers geek, and I'd miss having those numbers!

I did work out every day, three days twice a day.  I still can't seem to get my calories out to be above 2300 average.  I need to figure out some way of fitting in something that will burn another 200 calories, but I can't see how.  I'm so exhausted when I get home, I barely manage to get dinner made and cleaned up.  I have all these good intentions of doing other work - which is the other thing, I can't justify taking 30 more minutes to work out when there is sooo much around here to get done.  I have thought about upping my intensity, but I just don't feel ready to run yet.  I'm still too heavy, and I'm afraid I'll hurt something, then have to take time off to heal.

I spend a lot of time just dreaming about the future.  If I can keep up with my goal, I know that in the next few weeks, my weight loss will start to become more noticeable. It will be subtle - my clothes will fit instead of being tight.  My rolls won't be so prominent.  By Thanksgiving, I should really look different.  I may even have to start wearing smaller pants by then (I hope!).  The way time flies around here, TG isn't that far off at all. Anyway, it keeps me motivated for the future, and reminds me that I need to keep going.

Weeks 12 and 13 - Bad Girl!

I know, I know - I am slipping.  I have posted late before, but this is the first week that I've missed completely.  My BF and I left for Ft. Lauderdale for the Labor Day weekend on Friday, and we spent 90% of our time outside at the beach or walking, etc., so I didn't have much computer time over the weekend.  Then I got back home on Monday night and got busy getting ready for the rest of the week.  Russ and Gwen started school on Wednesday, and work was crazy!  Before I knew it, it was Friday morning again, and I was weighing in for the week.  That's when I knew I'd be combining my updates :-)

Stats:
Week 12:  +.5 :-(  - This was my 2nd week using the green coffee bean extract.
Week 13:  -1

I am officially -.5 off of my goal of 1lb a week.  I have been behind before, but I don't like that I am here now at week 13.  I would prefer to be ahead of the average at this point, and I realize that I am going to have to step up my exercise AND get my calorie intake under control.  In addition to skipping my blog entry, I fell off the wagon with logging my meals.  I just have not had the time - I only have after work to be able to do it because I usually cannot get on the site at work, and besides, I shouldn't be doing that at work anyway.  After work, I'm usually so busy getting dinner, cleaning up from dinner, and then getting ready for the next day, I am exhausted by the time I would get on the computer.  And on this coming Monday, I start back to school, so it will be even crazier!  I am going to have to really buckle down and get organized.

We also started having to exercise starting at 5 AM now due to the school hours.  This means that I have to get up around 4:45 in order to be ready and drive to my BF's house to do our walk.  It's dark out for 90% of the walk.  We can only do 3 miles because Dawna has kids that come at 6 AM.  I get home and have to start in on the day, so I'm missing the extra 15 min of working out that we were doing.  I have to get my act together and get my weights downstairs and do some isometrics.

So, my goals are humble this week - 1 will be to get back to logging my meals.  Another will be to bring my workouts back up to a minimum of 1 hour.

Week 11 - What the ?

Stats:  lost 4lbs this week.

Go figure!  I just don't get my body.  I skipped two workouts, and I ate crap and drank way too much.  What does that say?  If anyone has any clue, I'd be happy to hear it.  Ok, now that I got my incredulousness (is that even a word?) out of the way, here are the remaining stats:

Ave calories burned:  2267
Ave calories consumed:  1448
Ave deficit:  819
Ave fat %:  35%

See, I told you it wasn't a good week.

On Saturday we left for our trip to the Hudson (NY) River Valley, and we had a good start, I thought, not only with me, but managing Tess and her diabetes.  I had packed a lunch of healthy sandwiches and fruits and veggies for us to snack on.  That first night, we went to a Mexican restaurant, and I did have some drinks and too many tortilla chips, but I had a salad as my entree.  From there, it was downhill.  Our room came with breakfast - you know, the buffet type, with the addition of made-to-order omelets.  I did have mine with egg whites only, and all vegetables.  I tried.  That's about all I can say.

We got back on Tuesday, and we ended the vacation by having Chinese take out.

So, this week I am getting back on track.  I am going to use up my remaining green coffee bean extract and see if another week give me any different results.  On Friday, I leave for a weekend away with my best friend Dawna.  Although we will be on vacation, we tend to keep each other on track more than blowing it.  It's always the alcohol we me/us.  I am going on the wagon until Friday night, and then I'm really going to try to be moderate.

My other challenge this week is that Tess is going back to school.  Because of our earlier schedules, Dawna and I will have to start our walks at 5 AM.  Although 30 minutes doesn't sound like much, it really makes a difference.  And, we will actually have to cut our walk back by 15 minutes too.  I really cannot afford to burn less calories, so I'm going to have to make up the difference somehow.  More lunch walks, and doing that dvd - that would be the best thing because I could get Tess to do it with me, and we both need it.

So, my post might be late next week due to my trip, but I'll try to capture my thoughts/feelings before I forget them.

Week 10 - Quitting Time

Ok, I'm not quitting, but I feel like it :-(

Stats:  +2lbs
Ave burn:  2291
Ave consumed:  1240
Ave deficit: 1051

Fat % ave:  26%
Work outs:  6 out of 7 days


So, it happened as it always does - or at least the last year, year and a half.  The only difference is it's happening a couple weeks later in the cycle than usual.  If you are keeping track, I've only lost 8lbs in 10 weeks, and I've gained weight for the last two weeks.

Last week's 1lb gain wasn't totally unexpected.  I had a large loss (for me) the week before.  But this week was just really disappointing.  I just get so frustrated when I am working so hard at this, and I can't freaking lose weight.

In addition to my usual working out and dieting, I have been taking the green coffee bean extract.  Obviously it didn't work for me.  I didn't feel any different - actually, that's not true, I actually felt more hungry at times - like totally famished.  I also had to urinate more frequently, and I felt bloated.  So, not really a good experience at all.  I figured it was worth a try.  My hunch is that it's basically a diuretic, so the weight loss if from water loss.  I did notice that my body fat % went down several points - but this too could be because of decreasing the water in my body.

So, this disappointment could not have come at a worse time.  I weighed in on Friday, and on Saturday we were leaving on a mini family vacation.  The motivation to stay on track with my exercise and eating was at an all-time low.  I am going to try to get my head straight, but I can't say that it will be easy at all.

This is the place - this is where it starts.  First it's a skip of a day of exercise.  Then it's a pizza binge.  Then skipping a couple days.  Of course, now I don't see any results or I quickly gain back what I've lost.  It's just too hard to do this day in and day out and not have results.  And, I'm not even doing all I should be doing!  I want to be burning at least 2500 calories a day.  Not sure it that will even make a difference.  I have an average daily deficit of over 1k calories - I should be losing 2# a week just by the math.  What is wrong with my body?

Anyway, I do have one thing going for me, and it will save me.  That's my best friend Dawna.  She and I have been walking together in the morning, and I know that there are many mornings when I wouldn't have gotten up if it wasn't for knowing that she would be waiting for me.  When this is all done, and it will be done, one way or another, I'll owe a big debt of gratitude to Dawna.

Week 9 - Ugh

Well, as predicted, I gained this week.  Even though I knew it would probably happen, still not happy to see it.

Stats:  1+
Average calories burned:  2325 (short of 2500 goal)
Average calories consumed:  1150 (better than 1200 goal)
Average deficit:  1175

Not sure how, with an average deficit of 1175, that I gained a pound.  That is the frustrating thing about my weight loss, it just defies logic, and I have to keep my motivation pinned on something other than progress in the weight area.  Not sure what that is seeing as I haven't been able to increase my speed of walking, or the amount of calories burned.  I keep thinking that I will get better once I lose another 10 pounds and I don't have so much extra weight with which to deal.

So, I've decided to try a weight loss "supplement" or I'm not sure what you would call it.  When I was at my yearly gyn exam last week, the nurse noticed by bodymedia monitor, and she asked about it.  That lead to  conversation where she told me about Dr. Oz recommending these pure raw coffee bean extract pills.  He claimed that - without diet or exercise changes - his subjects lost 3-6lbs in the first week of using the pills.  With no side effects!  So, I decided I would try it.  I started today (Saturday), the first day of my diet week.  I will certainly chronicle how it works if it does at all.

My other eating goal this week was to decrease the average fat % of my diet.  It was 31% last week, and it was 31% this week, so I did not meet my goal, but at least I did not increase it.  I will try again this week to decrease my overall %.

Week 8 - The Scale is a Fickle Friend

Wow, I've completed week 8! That'sa really good milestone, I am on my way for sure.  It doesn't hurt to have some great motivation this week:  I lost 4.5lbs!

Of course, I realize that is a crazy number, and I'll probably gain some of that back (I already was up 1lb today), but it sure feels good - especially after the .5 loss last week.  And you know, it hasn't been that difficult. Yeah, I have had my moments, but for the most part, I cannot complain.  Two weeks of the 8 were spent on vacation - and you know you can't be very good when you are on vacation.  Just last Saturday night I had a cheeseburger for dinner and several glasses of wine.  If I can maintain those types of lifestyle choices, and still lose 1lb a week, I will definitely be able to make my goal.

Don't get me wrong, there have been sacrifices too.  Getting up at 5:20 AM every morning still feels difficult as the first morning.  I don't think I would have done it if it weren't for my bf Dawna meeting me.  It has been 4 weeks this week, so I'm hoping that something will kick in that will make it more of a habit, less of a strugle for me.  I need that before school starts when I'll need to wake up even earlier - closer to 5 AM.

So, that brings me to my other goals.  My exercise step goals, biking and weights, were not acheived again this week.  I have decided to back off and concentrate on achieving my first goal, which was to get a daily burn of 2500 calories. I came close this week - 2495!  This was mainly due to taking additional walks at lunch on Tuesday and Thursday.  I will try to fit those in more regularly.  I also am going to try to start doing a Jillian Michaels dvd a few times a week.

My food goals were more modest, I wanted to keep with the logging, and I did that.  I didn't keep to my alcohol goal :-(   I over indulged in wine on Saturday night, and I did not resist the urge to have 2 light beers on Friday night, so well over the 2 drink limit.  However, they were within my calorie goals, and I had an average calorie intake of 1221 calories.  Adding a 10% fudge factor, that's a 1343 calories, but still a deficit of 1k a day! 

I wanted to muse a bit about the scale.  I weigh myself every day, and I know many diet experts tell you not to do that, but it's something that works for me.  If I'm trending well or poorly, it gives me that heads up that my "official" weigh in might not be so good.  But, it is a double edged sword.  You really have to be able to not let the number get to you - both positive or negative numbers.  If I see I've gained, or not lost as much as I think I should, I try to make that motivate me to try even harder.  If I see I've lost, I also use that to motivate me to stay on track and lose even more.  My head doesn't always agree.

I am very happy about the scale right now. If I can maintain this loss, it puts me a couple weeks ahead of my goal, and it gives me some wiggle room for when (not if) I have a bad week.  I still have such  long way to go.  I still am looking forward to fitting back into my clothes - some are getting a little better, but most still have a long way.  I am looking forward to not having my thighs rub together, and that's probably not going to happen for months.  But, for now, I've met one of my early goals for the scale - the first 10#, and I'm really excited about the next 10, which will be much more noticible to me and my friends and family.

Week 7 - Sticking with it

Stats:  lost .5lbs

To say I'm not disappointed would be a lie.  I don't understand how my loss could only be .5lb, it doesn't add up - literally.  My average burn for the week was 2386, and my average calorie intake was 1040, that's an average daily deficit of 1346.  Mathematically, I should have lost 2.5lbs.  Even if I underestimated my calories by 500 a day, I still would have lost at least 1lb. 

I wasn't able to meet my step goals for exercise.  I didn't have time to fit in a bike ride or any weights, so those will be my goals again for this week.  I did, however, exercise 7 times.  I did better with my food goal - I logged 7 out of 7days.  All I can do it keep on going and hope that my body will catch up with me.  I am not giving up (yet).  I know that there will be set backs.  I'll probably have to step up my efforts, I know that, but I didn't think it would be so early in the process.  I haven't even lost 10# yet - why would I be stuck already?

I definitely need to get to the 2500 burn.  I'm only ~200 calories away, which shouldn't be too difficult to do, but I just need to reprioritize and get organized.  Dealing with Tess's diabetes had really added a strain that hasn't been easy, but on the other hand, because she has been on a strict meal plan, it has caused me to prepare healthy meals. 

So, here's hoping that next week is better.

Week 6 - Renewed Motivation

Stats:  1lb lost - tracking to goal (with no wiggle room).  The dreaded week 6 - it has been around this point in my last few endeavors that I have started the decline that would lead to me giving up on diet and exercise.  I think this was due to the lose/gain pattern I would find myself in, and I would get discouraged and wonder why I was trying so hard and denying myself food and sleep.  This time, I guess I'm more motivated in general.  I know I have to do this.  But, also, I have at least met my goal, and so I have no real reason to be discouraged.

My other goals for this week were for exercise, to ride my bike.  For food, I was making another attempt to limit myself to 2 drinks.  For exercise, I was able to get in a bike ride.  It was one of the 6 exercise sessions that I did.  It was disappointing to see that it was just moderate activity - it sure didn't feel moderate.  As for the 2 drinks, well I didn't drink all week until Friday night when we went to the annual daycare pool party, but I definitely had more wine than 2 glasses.  I will keep trying to limit the alcohol.  As for my step goals, I was only able to burn an average of 2320 calories a day, but I did make the 6x a week exercise.

This week's goals are to add some weight training to my exercise, and logging my food.

When I am doing my walking, I think a lot about getting back into shape, and I'm really looking forward to a lot of things, including:

1.  I'm looking forward to fitting back into my clothes.  I have been stuffing myself into my last pair of comfortable jeans, and I want to be able to fit into them and, someday, have them be too big on me.
2.  Not have my thighs rub together.

I think that I could achieve #1 by September sometime.  The 2nd one may take a little longer than that.

My week started out with our trip to the North End for our 24th anniversary.  It's not a low-calorie night.  I really enjoyed my food, though, and I love the family outing.  I was thinking that next year, at our 25th anniversary, I will look completely different, and I think it would be great to celebrate - not only our anniversary, but my new body.  I doubt I'll be able to fit into my wedding dress, but maybe I could have it morphed into a new dress.  I realize that the one thing that will make me look younger will be for me to lose weight.  Being overweight ages you.

The day after our anniversary trip was our best friend's granddaughter's christening, and they had a brunch buffet following it.  When I consider the temptations that I had this week, it's a wonder I lost the pound.

Week 5 - Back on Track, sort of

Stats first:  lost 3.5lbs, which means I am on schedule of having lost 5lbs in 5 weeks.  Yeah.  But, if you were keeping track, I really have lost 7.5lbs.  But I also gained 2.5 back.  It's very confusing.  And frustrating.

My goals for this week - well, I had a hard time coming up with some goals for this week.  I wanted to build on previous goals, but unfortunately, my activity was only 2315 average, so I really need to bump it up. I wanted to make riding my bike a goal, but I knew that, with the week I had planned, that it would be really challenging to be able to pull that one off.  And, why set up a goal that you know you can't make?  I am going to add it for this week, though, because I should be able to do it.

Of course, just when I think life is settling down, it throws you a curve ball.  On Wednesday morning, I did my walk (BTW, I'm thinking that there is something wrong with my BodyMedia monitor because it is showing so much fewer steps when I do my 4 mile walk than it was showing when I did my 3 mile walk in Ogunquit), and I was thinking that I would post a mid-week update about some of my musings on this process. 

Well, that morning I took my daughters to their annual physicals, and Tess was diagnosed with diabetes.  She had to be seen by a doctor that day, and she has had appointments every day since.  We are on a schedule of blood glucose tests, specific meal plans, and doctor's appointments.  It has been very difficult to keep up with work, exercise, and all of this. 

So, the best laid plans, etc.  I hope this week is a bit more normal than last week.  I realize that I'm going to have to step up my game in order to keep those pounds coming off.  One of my goals for this week for food/drink was to cut back on the consumption of alcohol.  It wasn't hard to do considering the amount of alcohol I was consuming on vacation.  I had a beer on Saturday, then shared a bottle of wine with my bf on Thursday night (I needed it!), so this week I'd like to cut back even further - maybe 2 or 3 drinks at most?

Tonight we are going out to celebrate our anniversary.  The whole family goes to a restaurant in the North End.  It's not very diet friendly, but I try to have a reasonable breakfast and lunch, and right back on track tomorrow - although that will also be challenging since we are going to a brunch celebrating a christening.  I hope to fill up on fruit :-)

Week 4 - 2nd week of vacation

No loss, no gain..  I guess that's something.  It means I'm 2.5lbs off my goal.

As far as other goals, I was able to work out 6 out of 7 days.  We had rain one morning, and I ended up taking the day pretty much off - back to my regular 2k burn.  It was good, though, to have a break.  Your body needs that too.

Tomorrow I return to reality, and I'm actually glad that there won't be the constant temptations that I have here on vacation.  I need to make up some seriously lost ground.

My average calorie expenditure was 2487.  My goal had been to be up to 2500 per day by now, so I'm lagging behind in this area also.  I hope I can step this up when I get home.

Week 3 - Vacation!

I've been on vacation since last Saturday, but I'm not on vacation from my goal.  I'll start with the positives for the week.  This morning was the 7th day in a row that I worked out.  My friend, sister, and sister-in-law have been walking each morning, about 3 miles.  On Tuesday, I started doing some additional calisthenics after our walk - just some crunches and push ups.  In addition to the walks, we are just so much more active.  I've managed to burn an average of 2373 calories a day - which is almost 400 more calories than a non-exercise day.  I have also averaged over 10,000 steps.  This is all good stuff!  I feel good, too, not too tired, and not injured, although I got this weird blood blister under a callous on my toe.

Ok, so now cue the waa-waa music.  I gained 3 pounds.

This is what is so frustrating about my recent attempts to get healthy.  I put all I can into it, and I see some progress, but I end up having this gain back that erases all my losses, and it's very discouraging.

I know that I'm on vacation, and my eating has not been great, but I would have had to have eaten/drank an additional 1500 calories a day for a total average of 3800 calories a day.  While I recognize that I could easily eat my daily burn of ~2300 calories, I really don't think I'm eating 3800 calories.  I've actually been good about passing on my usual treats - like fudge or ice cream.  I've let the kids have it, but skipped it myself.  So, with all the exercise, and the sacrifices, I expected that I would at least stay even :-(

But, I can't let it get to me.  I'll just have to work harder to make up the deficit, and I may have to go to a more austere plan with food, etc.  That will be easier to do when I am back from vacation.

Week 2

Stats:  1.5lbs lost, 4.5lbs total weight loss

Week 2 was even better than week 1.  My exercise goal for the week was to exercise 5x, and I made my goal.  I started on Saturday, then my bf went with me on Sunday, I took Monday off, but I got up in the morning on Tuesday.  Because I was working from home, and I didn't have to take Tess to school, I was able to sleep until about 5:45 am, and then I walked from 6-7am.  I took Wednesday off, but then I finally got up in the morning around 5:30 am on Thursday and Friday.  That is a big deal because my alarm has been going off at 5 am for over a year, and every morning I hit the snooze.  I have had a few times when I've gotten up, but none I have been able to sustain.  Not to say that I'll sustain this, but I am still happy to have done it.

I'm writing this a little late because I am so busy getting ready to go on vacation.  I am fortunate that my friend and sister have a tradition of walking every morning on vacation.  We have a beautiful path along the ocean that we walk.  Our total walk is about 3 miles.  I've been walking 4 miles, so I'll have to figure out how to get that extra mile in.  I'm not that anxious about making my goals during these two weeks, although maybe I should be.  Vacation is typically a time for indulgence, and I haven't had much self control lately.  My plan is to try to control the sweets aspect of eating.  I don't go crazy, but I do usually eat more than I do at home, so I'm just going to cut out all the extras.  If I am going to indulge, it will be with alcohol :-)  But, even then, I'm going to try to be reasonable.  I was watching a tv show, and the people were drinking wine, and I was practically drooling I wanted a glass so much.  But, I deferred - not only because of the calories, but also to keep a clear head to complete my packing.

My exercise goal for this week is exercise 6x a week.  I think this will definitely be achievable because of our daily walking.  I am also bringing my bicycle, and I really hope to get in a bike ride or two.  I really enjoy biking, and it's a great way to get a different workout.  For my second week, I'm not sure what my goal will be.  I do want to get to exercise 7x a week, but I'm not sure I can really do that.  I know I can do 6, but I may not be able to workout all 7.  What I am thinking of as an ultimate goal is to get my calorie burn up to 2500 calories in a day - maybe I could start out with 4 days.  I could also switch the focus to my eating.  I am trying to make good choices, but I'm probably doing that 70% of the time, but I'll definitely need to bump that to 90-95% in order to lose a pound a week.

So, we'll see how my vacation week goes!

Week 1

Well, first, the stats:  I lost 3 lbs this week.  It's a good start, but I'm not getting excited yet.  I'm sure there will be weeks when I don't lose a pound, or I lose less than a pound, so the "lead" I have will be used up, I'm sure.

I've set some other goals for myself, mostly about exercise/activity.  I also have been overly aggressive in my past attempts at getting fit, and this time I'm giving myself permission to ease back into a routine.  My mind jumps to getting to running as soon as possible, but I have to remember that walking is just fine - I get my heart rate up, I enjoy it, and it's lower stress on this old, tired body.  So, I'll walk.  The downside is that I have to take more time to get the same caloric burn than some other exercise.

So, for this week, I set a goal of exercising 4x.  I made it 3x.   But, my weeks are going to be Saturday-Friday, and I really didn't start until Monday, so I feel like I had a little bit of leeway.  The truth is, I need to get back to a routine because my plans for a walk at lunch or after work are most often not going to happen.  The best laid plans and all that - I just have too many distractions and responsibilities to be able to count on that plan.  Those plans will best be for a second session of physical activity.

On my walks, I've done a lot of thinking.  I'm excited to be in a different place by next year.  I keep my ultimate goal in mind, and I think about how great it will be to start next summer not embarrassed to be in my bathing suit.  I do, however, have a shorter term goal to help me stay motivated.  My bf and I are going to Florida at the end of the summer.  I should be 10# lighter by then, and although I will still be 40 pounds overweight, I know I will feel better about myself.

The Tipping Point

I just had my birthday last week, and the reality finally hit me that I have to do something about my weight and health.  I really don't want to complete my 50th year of life looking and feeling like I currently do.  I need to set myself up for my next 50  years, and it's not in my current body.

The challenge is, however, that this isn't the first time I've done this.  I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds.  I know how much work it takes to be able to achieve my healthy weight and fat % (not to mention cholesterol level).  I think, though, I have had high expectations in the past, and got discouraged when I did not meet my goals.  That's why I thought if I just set a goal of 1# a week, it would seem more manageable, more realistic.  I have to say, though, when I was almost a decade younger, and working out like a maniac, and eating very clean, I often had weeks when I did not lose 1#.  It gets harder the more you lose!  But, I can't think about that now, I can only think one week at a time, one day at a time really.

So, here I go.