Week 20 - The Worst Month Ever

Well, not exactly ever, but it's the worst month since my very first month, and that wasn't even a full month.

Stats:  -.5
Ave cal expenditure: 2311

Ok, before I launch into all the negativity, I'm going to focus on the positive:

• this week three people asked me if I have lost weight
• fat % showed as 34% at weigh-in
• three weeks of not drinking alcohol
• worked out 7 out of 7 days.

So, all that's good.  I'm happy that I didn't gain, but I am really bummed that 1)  I still didn't make my 10% goal (2 weeks off now), 2) I didn't lose more weight.  Total weight loss for October (this is the last WI of the month - 4 total) is 1.5lb  this ties for the lowest monthly loss since the first month. I have lost 5# a month the other months.  Now this.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about realizing that this weight number is one I've gotten stuck on in the past. Despite this self awareness, I was really not prepared for this lack of progress.  I feel like, based on the work I am doing, I really should not be having a problem losing 1 pound a week - even if it's an average.  My current average is .9.  In order to be back on track for next week, I will have to lose 3 pounds.  Definitely possible - I've had 3# weeks before.  Of course, that's just to catch up.  By now, I was hoping to be ahead of the game a couple pounds.  That's why I quit drinking.  I figure, if I don't see any significant progress by next Friday, I will go off the wagon.  What's the point if it's not going to help in the results.  I'm sure that I have cut calories by not drinking - it factors into decisions that I've made to go out to eat or not, it's kept me from snacking when I had a few glasses of wine in me.  But, OTOH, maybe I'm compensating by consuming more calories anyway to make up for what I usually consume in alcohol.  I haven't been tracking my food.  I just have not had the time.  I can't do it at work because the tool doesn't work on my work laptop.  I don't like to do it on the phone because it takes longer, and when I'm at home, my evenings are already full of cooking, cleaning, homework (mine), and much needed sleep!

Also, I have been sticking to a pretty specific diet, meals that I have entered over and over again, so I know that I'm averaging no more than 1400 calories.  It's leaving me a deficit of ~900 calories a day!  But, if I have another bad/slow progress week, I'll have to make a super-human effort to go back to food tracking.  Maybe I'm severely underestimating my intake.

Week 19 - Desperate Times

Stats:  +.5
Average calories out:  2490

Well, this week's post was supposed to be titled, "Yahoo!  10%!", but it was not to be.  I was there on Thursday, I was under it this morning, but I on Friday morning, somehow I knew I wasn't going to make it.  Have you ever just felt heavy?  That's how I felt when I got on the scale.  Despite the foreboding, I weighed myself three times because I just couldn't believe it.  How could I have gained a pound and a half since the day before?  Sometimes the scale is just a big head game.

So, the desperate times call for desperate measures, and the one I have chosen is to stop drinking alcohol until Thanksgiving.  My last drink was on 10/5, so I have had two weigh-ins since I stopped, one good, and one not so good.  I will have to evaluate if it's really worth it to not drink.  My hope is that I could really make a dent in my weight-loss goals (be ahead a few pounds - I'd be happy with 2# at this point) before the holidays.

I sometimes think that it's a very good thing that I set my expectations so low.  I know that sounds horrible, but realistically, with the amount of daily deficit I am creating, I should be losing 2# a week, and that's what I've had as a goal in the past, but when I would not lose that, and even gain, I would get so discouraged that I would quit.  Having the 1# goal has meant that (until now), I have been able to even out the big losses and the gains to have an average (ok, so that average has been under 1# more weeks than it has been at or above!) at or near 1#.  To be behind again - and especially not make my 10% goal, is discouraging.  I am putting a lot of work into this.  I am tired all the time because I'm getting up at 5 AM to work out.  I'm working out every day, sometimes twice a day.  I am sacrificing - not just alcohol, but sweets, food, etc.  If I can't show at least 1# a week average loss, then I think there is something seriously wrong with me and my metabolism.

Week 18 - Small Victories

Stats:  Lost 4.5lbs this week.

Don't ask me to figure it out.  I have no idea.  I was thrilled to be back on track with my goal of 1# a week, but my body just confounds me.  I am thrown off balance - I don't know what is working and what is not since there is such a see-saw ride on the scale.

Last week's post was so short because I was short on time, but after the big gain, I tried to focus on other areas of victory.  I mean, my clothes are definitely fitting better.  When I see my silhouette reflected in glass or the mirror, I don't cringe like I used to.  I know that I have a long way to go, but it is nice to be able to see the results of all hard work.

I also have seen some progress in my fat %.  It has read as low as 35% sometimes, with 37% being the highest I usually see.  This is a good trend, once I get my fat % less than 35, I should be able to burn more calories (or at least as much) at a lower weight.

When I was trying to make sense of my weight gain, I remembered that the last time I tried to lose weight, I was around this same weight, and it was really stubborn.  I ended up getting frustrated because I was up one week and down the next, with very little net progress.   I think I'm in for that again - it's going to be a stubborn set point, but if I can get past it, I should be ok.

I just wish I was a few pounds ahead of my goal instead of being right on.  It gives me no wiggle room, so I figure that I just have to cut back even more, be more careful about what I am eating, and stop drinking.  I decided I am going to quit drinking until Thanksgiving.  At first, I thought it should be a piece of cake - I don't have any major outings planned between now and then, but even last night (Friday night), I was really wanting a glass of wine or even to go out for a drink.  It's going to be more difficult than I thought.  But, I do believe it will make a dent - and maybe get me past this stubborn set point and beyond.  It will be the beginning of the holiday season, so it would be good to be ahead before all that eating and drinking starts.

Week 17 - Time to get serious

Stats:  Gained 3lb!

That says it all, right?

I don't have much time, so this is going to be a quick post.  I really don't know what is going on.  I had a good week with some of the highest average calorie output that I have had.  What it makes me realize is that I need to try even harder/more.