Week 24 - Sigh

Stats:  +1lb
Average burn:  2397 (so close to goal of 2400!)
Average calories:  1248

This is a week that I (we) take time to be grateful.  Everyday, I try to think about how fortunate I am and give thanks, but during Thanksgiving, I think about it in a bigger way - not only about my family, friends, health, but also about having a manager who doesn't drive me crazy, or the fact that I have my wonderful mother living with me, or for something that I take for granted - like trash pick up!  In any case, gratitude is in my heart, and it's important to put all things in perspective.

That's why I tried not to be too discouraged by the scale on Friday.  It was the day after Thanksgiving for goodness sake, and I wasn't exactly an angel.  I had all my favorites, plus seconds, and apple pie.  I skipped dinner, but I did have another piece of pie at 10 PM!  I tried to account for it on my food tracker, but I'm sure my total was underestimated - I came out at ~1750 calories, and that seems remarkable, don't they say the average meal is 2000?  But, I have a couple of things that are going for me, and that is that I don't use gravy, and I have some great vegetable sides that are part of my meal.  Anyway, even if I had consumed less calories, I bet I still would have been up a pound because of all the salt.  At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

This week I had two realizations.  The first one is that you can lose 10% of your body weight, and you can feel good about yourself, and you can be happy that you fit into your clothes again, but you still look fat!  It's like when I watch The Biggest Loser.  The contestant has lost like 150 pounds, but he/she still looks fat.  His BMI is probably still obese (at least mine is now merely "overweight").  It's crazy - but the fact is that it's something that messes with your head.  You want to celebrate what you've done, but you realize that you've only made a dent.

The other realization that I had is that I'm going to be at this for more than a year.  I have been focused on this goal so much, and not in the "Ah, I've crossed the finish line, time for a buffet and a nap", type of focus.  I know that I will have to - no, I want to - keep up with my "healthy lifestyle", I've even added it to my workout sheet.  I think what I realized is that my body needs a lot more work than just losing the weight.  I'd like to think I could just be 135-140 pounds and look great, but I think I've abused my body for too long to expect that.  Also, I need to get strong in order to stay strong.  And I want to stay strong for my children, future grandchildren, and, of course, for myself.  I guess part of me was thinking that I could meet this goal then sail into maintenance mode for the rest of my life, but I don't think so.  Maybe it's good that I realized it now instead of waiting until almost the end.

Next week:  Annual trip to Boston, the start of the holiday season, and amping up the activity.

Week 23 - Backlash

Well, it's not exactly backlash, but it sorta makes sense . . . well, let's explain with stats.

Stats:  0 lbs lost
Ave calories burned:  2351
Ave calorie consumed:  1151

So, I figure I'm paying for the big loss two weeks ago.  In addition, the not-so-good eating week I had last week.  But, the numbers are still good - it's baffling, sometimes, how my body works.  I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does.  It's difficult to be working so hard and see an average deficit of 1200 calories, and not even lose 1 pound.  Even if you put in a 5% margin of error - to the negative on both numbers, so the average burn would be 2233, and the average calories consumed would be 1207, that's still a 1k a day deficit - or 2 pounds a week.  Sigh.

One thing I decided was to end my sobriety a week early.  It hasn't given me the extra boost I was hoping for, and Chuck and I were going out for our monthly date night, and I just wanted to have a drink.  I will try to keep it all to a minimum as I was before, and I'll see if it makes any negative impact - there is the theory that I could have done even worse if I had been drinking, but if that's the case, I can always stop again.

My calorie burn dipped a little this week, and that is concerning. I'd like to continue to keep it up over 2400 average, but I did cut back on the aerobic exercise so I could fit in isometric/weight workouts more regularly, and it doesn't seem as if that registers the way the walking does.  My goal this week is to understand my treadmill's programs so that I can use them on my 45 minute days to increase calorie burn :-)

I started to use a new tracker program this week - myfitnesspal - it syncs with my Bodymedia Activity Manager, so I don't have to log in both places.  It's supposed to be easier to log and have more entries.  It has a mobile ap, so if I can use that more often with more success than the activity manager, then it may be worth it.  So far, it's ok - I don't like the fact that you cannot see the calories of the food you are choosing, so you have no idea what it's going to be.  I chose a generic salad - just the veggies according to the description, and it came out to be 400 calories!  I don't think so . . .

Well, next week is Thanksgiving.  I will be weighing in on the day after the big feast.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm just going to keep up with my fitness goals and try to be extra good from now until Thursday.  I do love TG, and while I won't go hog wild, I will not skip my favorites - especially apple pie - because I'm on this journey.  I think it's important to understand how to fit these events into our lives without them being big set backs.  Weather permitting, we will go for a walk after dinner, and I will have worked out that morning, so maybe burn some of the calories I will consume.

Week 22 - The Election!

I have no epitaph that relates to my weight loss journey.  The big news for this week was/is the election of President Barak Obama to a second term.  I am very happy.  I know he is the best man for the job.

Now, to the stats.

Stats:  -1lb
Avg calories expended:  2428
Avg calories consumed: 1229

Positives:

• Achieved my other weekly goals:
• Logged all my meals
• No alcohol
• New exercise schedule
• Finally went down a size. 

In general, it was a good week.  I'm happy to have lost another pound vs. gaining or staying the same, but I still would have liked to have lost more, even .5, just to get ahead of the goal.  But, when I think about the week I had, I should be grateful.  I stayed within the numbers, but I ended up eating a lot of junk food.  It started last Saturday with a pizza party - my favorite all time pizza from Tony & Ann's - birthday party for my brother and sister.  I made Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Peanut butter frosting.  The batter and frosting sampling was out of control.  And, of course, I had to try one!  That should have been enough, but oh no.  We had left over pizza, and I couldn't resist. I really need to do something about my will power or lack of it.  I spent the rest of the week trying to get back on track, and I guess I balanced things out, but I think I started a sugar craving, because I broke down and had a coffee roll from Dunkin' Donuts on Thursday.  Honestly, the calories are the same as when I get my multigrain bagel, but of course there is all that sugar and fat :-(

I was able to get into some pants that are a size smaller than I was wearing.  It has taken 22 weeks!  But, that is because I was probably squeezing into a size that should have been at least one larger.  I think going down to the next lower size will not take as long.  Maybe half the time?  10 weeks - I'm going to hope that 10 weeks = 10 lbs, and that will translate into a smaller size.  For now, I've been able to go into my own closet and find clothes that are a lower size from when I was smaller.  I don't want to have to buy anything until I'm my final size.

I started my new exercise routine.  I currently have 3 days where I only walk for 45 minutes, then I spend 15-20 minutes on isometric exercises, preferably with weights.  I was concerned that I would drop significantly in calorie expenditure.  My monitor definitely does not register my isometric exercises as physical activity, which is crazy, because I'm certainly more active, but whatever.

I think I am going to take Monday off from exercise completely.  I know I will sleep in - the kids don't have school, and I'm working from home, so it's a good opportunity to ignore the alarm.  It's supposed to be a nice day, though, so I'd like to go out for a walk.  It will be the first day in 12 that I haven't worked out.  But, I'm thinking it may be good to take a complete day off every couple of weeks.

Week 21 - 10%

Stats:  4lb loss
Average calorie output:  2457
Total Weight Loss:  22lb

Positives:

• Made my 10% goal finally
• Turn back the clocks tonight!!!  I cannot wait to get my hour back.
• Average of 2457!! And that is with taking a full and complete day off from working out.

Ok, and now here is for the venting of everything else.  Of course I was still a little disappointed that my 5.5 loss didn't stick around, but I'm trying to look on the bright side that maybe I won't gain back any of this 4, where as if I had weighed in at 5.5, I surely would have had a gain back of 1.5 or more by next Friday.  Still - only being 1lb ahead of my weekly goal doesn't exactly make me breath a sigh of relief.

So, changes for this week - I am really going to try to go back to logging my food.  I have to admit that I know my food intake was not good this week.  We had the hurricane Sandy on Monday, and I worked from home on Monday and Tuesday, and it is just harder to be good when I am at home.  Also, Wednesday was Halloween, and I make our traditional Halloween sugar cookies with butter cream frosting - I must have licked and tasted 1/2 cup of frosting, not to mention that I ate 3 cookies!  On Halloween, I had 3 fun size candy bars.  In all, it could have been a lot worse, but I wonder if I had put those into my food tracker if I would have continued to be so bad!  So, I will go back to tracking and see if I can't make more of a dent into my progress.

Today I knew I was having my family over for pizza for a birthday celebration, so I was extra careful all through the day.  I made chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting for the dessert, and I really wanted to try one, so I did.  I just logged my day, and it's coming out as 1374, so not too bad if that is 100% accurate, which it probably is not - maybe 1500?  Which isn't horrible.

The other think I am going to start is to incorporate more weight work into my work outs.  This will be hard only because of giving up my current calorie burn.  I feel like I just finally started making good progress on getting above 2200 a day, and now I will be cutting back - I know that the weight work does burn calories (even though the monitor doesn't seem to show it), and overall, if I boost my muscle, I will be burning more all over, but it will still be hard to see the number come down.

I found my last weigh-loss spreadsheet on my computer.  I don't remember it well, but it looks like the last time I had seriously tried to lose weight was in 2010.  I started in January, and I started at at least 5 pounds heavier than I was when I started my current effort.  I have entries for 21 weeks - exactly where I am at in my current journey, and I had lost a total of 23 pounds!  One pound more than I have so far.  It's sort of depressing to see that.  I don't remember what happened - why did I start slacking off at that point?  I have one more entry in my calorie count at the beginning of June, but there isn't another one until November, and by then I've gained back 6 pounds.  Why did I quit?  I do remember that Chuck and I went to Montreal with Dawna and George that Memorial Day weekend.  I have pictures of us, and it is so not pretty.  I look horrible.  Yes, 5 pounds heavier than I am now at the same point, and 5# is a lot, but it's not that much of a difference.  I guess it's humbled me.  Here I am thinking and feeling like I look GREAT now that I've lost 22lb, but I can see that I still look like a shlub (is that a word?).  I feel like I'm working harder at this than I have the last 3 times (I found a 2011 log - only 3 entries long, and then there was 2010, and before that I have 2008, which was fairly successful - made it to about the exact same spot - down 22lb), I know I never have worked out for 7 days a week or at least 7x a week, I always espoused a day of rest.  

Well, this is getting very long.  I should sign off and go to bed so I can enjoy my extra hour of sleep and get up and do my first workout of my new regime.  I will persevere.  I will not let the 22/23 pound curse get to me again!  I will continue no matter what and get to my goal, and this blog is here to remind me.

Sneak Peek!

Ok, I never do a mid-week post, but I just had to document this somehow.  When I got on the scale this morning, I was down 5.5lbs!  I know, I know - it's not official until I step on the scale tomorrow, and I quite possibly could be 2# heavier tomorrow (who knows why?), which would just put me exactly where I belong.  However, it was just thrilling to see that number on the scale, and I've been trying to be extra good all day so that I can't blame myself tomorrow if most of the loss vanishes.

It gives me hope, though, that at least I'll be down the 3# that I need to be.  And maybe the not drinking is working.  I do sort of have a pattern of a big loss following the week that I have my period, so maybe that is all this is.  And, unfortunately, I also have a pattern of gaining back half or more of that big loss :-(  But, I'll try not to pay interest on money I haven't borrowed, and I'll just be happy that it appears that I'm making progress!!!