And I've completed my 50th year of life . . . Goal date +3weeks

Stats: +2
Avg cal burned:  2144
Avg cal consumed: 1279
Avg deficit:  865

The numbers are not totally accurate this week because I didn't log all my meals.  The birthday celebrations started with "pizzapalooza" on Monday.  It continued through to Tuesday because we had lots of left over pizza.  I had a busy week with work and kids stuff, so that is my excuse for being off track.

The big disappointment is that I was not able to run the Hollis 5k on Thursday.  I had said from the beginning that I didn't want to run in the rain.  I wouldn't mind if it was a mist or a shower, but it started raining at 1 PM, so by 6:30 PM, everything was soaked, and the rain was rain, not mist or sprinkle.  I can't believe this is the 2nd time I've signed up and not been able to do it, I'm jinxed where this race is concerned.  I picked up my shirt and number - guess what - I was #1.  That was a total surprise.  We still went to La Hacienda that night, and had another birthday celebration.  I was happy that I got to jump on my treadmill and run a 5k (+) that afternoon - I had skipped my morning workout with the hopes that I would be running the race later that day.  Last time I ran in the morning and did the race, and I think that was a contributing factor in how horrible I felt.  I also had bought a $25 water bottle that has a handle I can hold while running since I don't like to hold anything when I'm running, but I need my water.  I figure it will come in handy when I'm on vacation since most of my workouts/run/walks are outside.

So, the celebrating ends tonight with dinner with my best friends.  I'm looking forward to a wonderful meal and laughs and fun with my friends.  My bf also gave me a day of pampering for my birthday, and today I had a massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure.  I feel so beautiful!

After today, I'm going to start to wean myself off of my BodyMedia monitor.  I will close my subscription early next month, but I probably won't wear it during vacation.  I already have a tan line from it, and it's just not very appealing with pretty t-shirts, etc. :-)  I'm a little nervous about not knowing exactly how much I'm burning, but I think I have a pretty good idea by now, and this will cause me to shift the focus more on what/how much I'm eating because I'll HAVE to keep that 1400 or under in order to not gain back what I've lost.

I'd love to say that I'll be here every week to report, but I'm not sure.  Especially over the next few weeks - a week from today we leave on vacation!!!  I'll be there for 2 weeks, then busy with parties, our anniversary, etc.  I think my plan is to pop in to report on any progress I've made or new developments - shorter posts.  We'll see.

Goal date +2 weeks

Stats:  -1
Ave burn:  2207
Ave cal:  1046
Ave deficit:  1161

So, this week I made a super herculean effort to do well, and as you can see by my stats, I had a phenomenal week.  Burn is a little low, but I was able to work out every day, not skip a day (until yesterday :-), and I did well with calories.  I will admit, I started out the week  - last Saturday - with a Chinese buffet and ice cream!  But, I logged it all, and the ice cream was no sugar, low fat :-)

I got my first bike ride of the season in, and it was great.  I really enjoyed it - it was on the very hot Sunday, but I didn't really mind it because on the bike you create a nice breeze.  I biked 12 miles, and it took me about an hour.  I really hope to get in more biking, I do enjoy it so much.

The other thing that happened is that I had to wear shorts - I've been getting by with my jean capris, but now the weather called for real shorts, and I couldn't find a pair that fit me.  They were falling off of me!  This is a good problem to have :-)  I had my first foray into a bathing suit too, and while I have a ways to go before I love my body, at least it wasn't as bad as last year!

Monday is my birthday, and it turns out that I will be having a party of sorts.  My brother will be visiting from California, and so my siblings and their families will be coming over to my house for pizza and salad and cake.  I think I am going to make cupcakes tomorrow to have.  So, the real reason we are meeting is my brother, but we will celebrate since it's on my birthday.  Then, on Thursday, I will do the race and we will go to La Hacienda after to celebrate.  And then, I am going out to dinner on Saturday night with Chuck and Dawna and George, but before that, Dawna is taking me away for several hours on Saturday for a surprise - I have no idea what it is, I hope I like it.  I can only think of spa or something like that, but I could be totally wrong.

So, since I needed shorts, I went out shopping on Wednesday and bought all new shorts, which was fun.  I also bought myself new running shoes.  I feel like mine are fine, but they are six months old and do have a lot of miles on them.   The shopping is fun, even though I am not the final size that I want to be.  I hope I'll have to buy all new shorts again next year (although, they are so expensive!  I bought them on sale and had a 30% off coupon, but they still cost more than some of my pants cost!).  Since we are no longer having an anniversary party, I feel like I can spend all this money on other stuff :-)  I think Chuck is going to regret his decision to not have a party.  It would have been cheaper in the long run.

Goal date +1 week

Stats:  -2
Ave burn: 1975
Ave cal:  1093


Stats are off this week because, for some reason, I just took Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off!  I also didn't log on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday.  I don't know what came over me.  I guess I just needed a break.  After reaching my goal date, but not my goal, I think I just lost all my oomph.  I had planned to work out on Saturday, but then got up late, then got busy with doing stuff around the house, school work, etc.  I was working on my invitation to my 25th anniversary party.  That just spiraled out of control when I skipped Sunday.

Of course, it's not good that I lost 2 pounds, because that seems like I did something right.  But, I know that it's only half of what I gained the week before, so I'm still up 2 in my mind anyway.  This is the first month ever that I have had a 0 average weight loss for the month.  I ended the month at the exact same weight at which I started the month, and that is damn depressing.

On a brighter note, the weather is beautiful, and I will be able to take the top of my Jeep completely off, and it's been lots of fun riding around with it off or half off.

Oh, and we aren't having an anniversary party :-(  Chuck called it off - he says he doesn't want a party, and I can't exactly go on without his support.  I am very sad, and I wish he had told me this nine months ago when I started planning, but I guess I'll have to get over it.  Part of me was using the party as motivation to look my best - I had even thought of trying to get into my wedding dress or having it altered so that I could wear it as a cocktail dress or something like that, but alas, I guess I'll just have to find something else to motivate me.

This coming week I'm going to really, really try to stay 100% on track - exercise every day, and eat right, etc.  I know I can do it, and I will do well.  I have just under two weeks until the Hollis Fast 5k, and I need to train so I don't make a fool of myself.

Week 50 - The End?

Stats:  +4
Avg burn: 2196
Avg cal: 1158
Avg deficit: 1038

Well, what a note to end my 50 week journey on - gain 4lbs.  It's one of my largest gains - I gained 4 once before, so this is tie.  Ok, so it was a challenging week.  I started my period last Saturday, which was Russell's birthday.  We had treats, of course - cookies and other goodies that I don't usually eat.  In addition, I left on a business trip on Tuesday and came back Thursday.  Wednesday night was a fabulous business dinner out, and while I thought I was being pretty good, I also didn't really skip anything either - but that included my workouts.  I went to the hotel gym both days even though I was feeling very tired.  In fact, Friday morning I ended up skipping working out, and I went to my annual physical appointment that morning.

My main complaint is how I cannot lose weight.  I told my doctor how I had this very reasonable goal of losing 1 pound a week, but as of that day, my average was .65 per a week despite the fact that I was exercising almost every day, eating well, and keeping a calorie deficit of at least 500 calories a day.  She didn't have any answers for me except to say that it sounds like I'm not getting enough sleep.  She said she would run blood work on me with my annual cholesterol check, and we could go from there, but she thinks that I'm not getting enough sleep, and that is why my weight loss is so slow.  I guess that's possible, but not what I wanted to hear since there's not much I can do about it.

So, here I am at the end of my 50 weeks, and I have lost a total of 32.5 pounds.  My plan is to continue at least through to my birthday.  I also have the goal of running the 5k after my birthday, June 14, and then we will go out an celebrate.

After that, I will continue to write weekly until we leave on vacation on June 22.  Then I will be canceling my membership with BodyMedia.  I'm done with wearing the monitor - it's too invasive.  I already have a tan line from it, and people ask about it all the time.  By now, I have a very good idea of what I burn on a daily basis.  For exercise, I'll use a calculated burn or maybe I'll find my HRM and use that.  Either way, it's an estimate, and I'll need to stay on the conservative side to ensure I continue to lose and just use MyFitnessPal.com to track everything.  If I continue at the rate I'm going, it will take at least until the end of the year to lose the remaining 17.5 pounds.

I realize that I need to do something different for exercise too.  I'm bored with the running.  I love walking, but it just takes too much time to burn enough calories, so I need to find a good  program that will motivate me.  It takes a lot of time, though, to research different dvd programs, etc.  I would love to get a personal trainer, but I have not heard of any that will come to your house at 5 AM, and that's what I need.

Week 49 - The 5k

Stats:  -3.5
Avg burn:  22
Avg cal:
Cal deficit:

So, this week was very busy, and there were several main events - one being my son's birthday today, but before that, my first public 5k run.  I signed up for the charity 5k that Tess's school was sponsoring.  What a humbling experience.  I felt ready.  I had been running a 5k distance for months, and I had been timing my actual 5k on the treadmill since the end of February.  More recently, I've added running a 5k outside so I would have the challenge of the terrain.  My time wasn't horrible - usually 30 to 32 minutes.  There were times when I would get tired or even have to stop for a few seconds of walking, but in general I felt that I was doing ok.

Well, the race wasn't starting until 7 PM.  This was difficult.  I got there after 5 PM, and picked up my number.  Chuck and the kids were all there, and they were registered for the fun run.  But even though that started at 6:30, they were done in minutes, and then we were left waiting an waiting.  It had been a very hot day, and even though now the sun was going down, it was still pretty hot.  I started off ok, I was trying to not get caught up with going too fast.  But, my mouth turned to dust anyway - I had forgotten about the adrenaline rush that you get when it starts.  I was really distracted by my thirst.  Many people passed me.  I felt like my legs were lead.  There was only one water stop just after the 1st mile.  I really didn't think I was going to be able to run the whole distance.  I was so thirsty and hot.  But, I did keep up with it, and I finished  with 31:13.  My time wasn't horrible, but the experience was.  Now I am worried about the Hollis Fast 5k for my birthday.  I will have to make sure I have water (I hate to carry it), and I'll hope that it's not as hot.

Of course, I am thrilled with my weight loss this week.  I figure some of it must be the water I sweated out on Thursday.  I finally made my second 10% goal!!  Of course, then today I got my period, which has been missing for 6+ weeks.  I don't know how that plays in, but it seems like it's always a factor.

Next Friday I go to have my physical, so I'll be interested to see what my doctor says about my slower than molasses weight loss.

Week 48 - Burned Out

Stats: +1
Avg cal burned: 2121
Avg cal consumed:  1607
Avg deficit:  514

You know what the problem with losing slowly is?  The problem is that you cannot sustain the stamina and pace of activity and careful eating to be able to reach your goal.  As I go on to almost a year of this, the novelty has worn off long ago.  I have tried to set new goals to keep myself working towards something - most of these goals, if they were weight goals, were not met.  I have been able to meet some of my physical goals.  I started running, worked my way up to 3, then 4+ miles.  I can run a 5k.  I haven't been as successful at some of my toning/weight training goals, but I am still working towards them.

But, it's all such a chore now.  I am burned out.  This wouldn't be a horrible thing if I were at - or even close - to my goal.  I'd down shift into maintenance mode.  I'd take it easy for a few weeks, with the goal of getting back on track and losing those "last 5".  But, I still have 20+ pounds to go.  That's another half a year of this JUST TO GET TO MY GOAL.  That's six months of working out EVERY DAY and WATCHING every mouthful of food.  I wish I were more motivated.  Why am I not motivated?  After 48 long weeks, why is this not ingrained into my life and I do not think twice about it?

I don't know why, but I know that I dread exercising now more than ever.  When the alarm goes off, and I think about getting on the treadmill, I am already bored.  I'm sick of the same music that I listen to over and over.  I'm sick of the same routine.  And, I'm tired of being tired all the time.

So, I need to figure something out fast.  I need to find activity that is going to excite and challenge me.  If I only had the time and the energy :-)

Week 47 - Happy May!

Stats:  -.5
Avg cal burn:  2336
Avg cal consumed: 1436
Avg deficit: 898

This was a good week.  I feel like I did well.  I am still struggling with getting up in the morning, so I had to punt at work a couple days, but at least I did keep up with working out.  I also logged every day, and I feel like I made good choices.  It helped that I didn't have any temptations this week (until last night).  So, even though it didn't translate into the numbers, I am ok with it because I know I did well, and it's a very livable week (except for getting up at 5 AM!).

The weather was great this week, and I was able to take the freedom panels off the Jeep for the first time this year.  I kept them off for six days!  It makes me excited to have the summer weather here full time and really feel like summer is on its way.  I am trying to not think about the fact that I won't be in bathing suit form for the beach.  At least I will look better than last year.