Stats: +1
Avg burn: 2250
Avg cal: 1312
Avg deficit: 938
Well, I apologize if this is all a bit jumbled. I'm posting it late for the week, and I'm already forgetting what last week was like. I only know that my motivation is waning badly. I am still having such a problem getting up in the morning. I have been saved by good weather and work schedules that have allowed me to go out and walk at work, but it's not the amount of burn that I need.
See, here is the big problem with slow losing. You lose momentum. If you can lose 1-2 pounds a week and reach your goals in a reasonable amount of time, you can keep up with it. But, when you are like me and down to ~.75 average a week, and at a year mark, you still haven't been able to reach your goal, you get tired. And, when you get tired, you get sloppy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have lost the 33 pounds I have lost, but that's part of the problem too. I have a lot of people noticing that I've lost weight and telling me that I look good. I've finally been able to start fitting into size 10 pants again. I feel better about my body. It's enough to lull you into the feeling that it might be enough. But, it's not. I need to get to the 50lb mark, I know that, but at this rate, I won't be there until sometime in November. I was so looking forward to spending the summer in a new size, new clothes that I bought to fit me. Now I will be buying my new clothes in depressing winter. Not only that, but I have to wait so long for this reward, it will be anticlimactic.
Lots of people are always saying, "when it comes off slow, it stays off" Well, the reverse of that may be true - if you lose 10# in say, 2 weeks, you may be destined to gain 5 of that back very quickly as soon as you ease up a bit. But, in my experience, the weight comes back on even after it has taken a tortureously long time to come off. And, it comes back on rather quickly. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight - about 50# back in 2002-3, it took me over a year and a half to get there. I didn't stay there long - maybe a week or two. It was the holidays, so I crept up a few pounds, but I knew I could get that back down, but then I had an injury and had to take some time off from working out. Before I knew it, I was up 10# in less than 3 months. It's just not true for me that you keep weight that you lost slowly off any longer.
The other event of this week, of course, was the Boston Marathon and subsequent bombing. What a horrible thing. I ran a 5k at work at lunch on Monday. As I ran, I thought about the marathoners who were at that moment running. The weather was perfect for running, maybe a little windy, but sunny and dry. I was thinking that by the time I got back to my desk, there would already be a winner of the race.
When I learned of the bombings, a short 20-30 minutes after it happened, I couldn't comprehend it. At first, we knew there were injuries, but we had not heard that anyone was killed. I hoped that no one would be, but unfortunately, that was not the case.
It was a crazy week after that - every day there were more details. The president and Mrs. Obama came to Boston for a memorial service. The back bay was closed down. Then, on Thursday night came the confrontation with the actual perpetrators. They shut down the whole city! I feel so sad for the victims and their families. I think of Martin Richard, only eight years old - just months older than Gwen. How will his family go on? Why? It makes me want to weep.
But, my journey is like a marathon. I have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that I will cross the finish line at some point. Maybe it won't be until all the crowds are gone and the finish line has been removed, but I will get there.
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